How To Build Confidence in Yourself and Your Employees to Succeed
By Rob Dance
Growing up, I found school really difficult and, as a result, I left at 17, hoping that employment would be my way forward in life. Unfortunately, things didn't go as planned. Everywhere I went, I was let go and left feeling unemployable. I couldn't understand why I couldn't hold down a job. I always felt like there must be something wrong with me.
It's only now can I look back and see that I had some truly awful managers who were controlling and autocratic. They treated me poorly, making it impossible for me to feel confident in my abilities. As a result, I was never good at taking instructions, always feeling that I could do things better if given the chance.
I remember one manager in particular who would swing between praise and insults, leaving me feeling confused and off-balance. They criticised me through other people, making me feel like I was always being watched. They even made threats, creating an environment of fear and tension that made it difficult to get anything done. I felt stressed and anxious all the time, and my confidence was battered. Eventually, I left that job to travel to Australia, hoping to leave all my bad experiences behind. However, even there, I struggled to find a job and had to move back home early.
With every new job, my confidence eroded even further. I remember feeling so hopeless and worthless that I would often need to call my dad for advice on the way home from work. It seemed like no matter what I did, I couldn't please my manager or hold down a job.
At the age of 25, my confidence was at an all-time low, and I knew that I had to take drastic action. I decided to start my own business, despite us entering a recession and having no money. To fund my venture, I sold my Renault 5 and started with just a thousand pounds in the bank.
It wasn't easy, but slowly and surely, my business began to grow. My vision at the time was to be the opposite of the managers who had treated me so poorly in the past. I wanted to create an environment where my employees could thrive, and they had the confidence to do great things. The mantra that we lived by, and still do today, is to “take over the world". I channeled all of my negative experiences into building a company that would have a transformative impact on our clients, our people, and the planet.
“Those difficult experiences were what drove me to succeed. They made me stronger and more determined to build confidence in my people.”
Now, looking back, I realise that those difficult experiences were what drove me to succeed. They made me stronger and more determined to build confidence in my people.
To expand my business, I knew I had to first concentrate on rebuilding myself. Seeking feedback from my new colleagues and team members helped me gain a more impartial perspective on my abilities and identify areas for improvement. I learned from my mistakes and used previous experiences as learning opportunities to identify what I could have done differently in the future. Practicing self-care, such as getting enough rest, going to the gym, having a healthy diet, taking cold showers, and meditating for ten minutes every morning, helped me reduce stress and anxiety.
The most significant change came from surrounding myself with positive, supportive individuals who encouraged and motivated me, and they aided me in regaining the confidence necessary to turn ROCK into one of the United Kingdom's largest technology consultancies.
Fifteen years later, I was reminded of my motivations for starting ROCK. One of my employees was celebrating their tenth anniversary with the company and as their manager for so many years, I wanted to take this opportunity to learn more about their experience at the company.
I approached the team member and congratulated them on reaching a milestone. They were thrilled and couldn't believe that ten years had already passed since they joined ROCK. I remembered their first day with us as if it were yesterday. At the time, I recall us being very similar. A divorce had left them lacking in confidence, but they had a visible passion and glimmer in their eyes that showed their desire to make an impact in the world.
That day, we spoke for hours about their experience at ROCK and I asked them for honest feedback on my leadership. The team member paused for a moment before responding...
They explained that one of the biggest things that helped them to develop as a person was the opportunities we gave them for professional development and growth. They described how constructive feedback had brought attention to their skills and achievements, given them guidance, and enhanced their self-assurance. They also shared how being a close second for the Employee of the Quarter award gave them the courage to go for a new position, which they ultimately secured and became a vital part of their professional journey and self-confidence.
As our conversation progressed, they stressed the importance of the positive and empowering work environment at ROCK. Their precise words were that "everyone at ROCK is so supportive", and they never hesitate to approach others for advice and to learn from everyone in the team.
Lastly, they emphasised the significance of the company allowing them to take risks and learn from mistakes. They explained that they had been encouraged to take calculated risks and had received support and motivation, which had resulted in enhanced confidence when their risks paid off. We discussed all the things we had set up and the numerous setbacks and failures we had faced along the way.
As I listened to the team member's account, I realised that their success story was a reflection of the company's efforts to support our employees, born from the negative experiences I had before setting up. The combination of providing opportunities for professional growth, regular feedback, creating a supportive work environment, and encouraging risk-taking has helped this employee feel empowered, motivated, and confident.
As the day came to an end, I felt really proud of their success and the journey we had both been on. Their insights have helped me gain a better understanding of what makes our company a great place to work, and how we can continue to support our employees to achieve success.
It's safe to say that I'm proud of what we have built, and ROCK is a successful business because our people have had the confidence to innovate beyond our imagination, and because I refused to let my past define me.
